I made this video in 2010, a little over a year before I tried – I tried so damned hard – to murder my Self. My son saved my life.
This video says “I didn’t do it“, and urges you to take charge and not be a victim of all you have suffered before this very day that you are there now and reading this. Then a year later, I did attempt it, and if I were not discovered in time, I would have accomplished it.
How many, then, die but could have been saved?
This video is a bit of a perfect example of both the MANIC of manic-depression (or bipolar as we call it these days) and the endurance of an individual – for strong as my message is, and hard as I tried to remain upright and forward moving, I fell deep, deeper, deeper into darkness, blindness. I actually worked every day through it too – 9-5, mental mental 9-5…
At this time, I could not even think sufficiently to know at the core of my heart how my ‘accomplishing’ self-murder would affect my son. See the little girl on the left of the b/w photograph? She doesn’t know her Mum’s going to die soon.
My anti-suicide message is strong and urgent.
I plan to bring this video to light every year in memorial of my Mother (r.i.p.). I also plan to be more spiritually advanced , personally accomplished, each year that I do.
Life is possible.
Try something today you have not tried before.
One year from now, You could be looking back at this – perhaps as you are blogging your own heart out, and You could be knowing (not hoping, wishing) that life can be joy.
(Latest Subscribers, in case you don’t yet realise:
My son and me are grown beyond this time I am writing this novel about – this time of when he was infant, and I wrote tearfully in journals as I had no-one to talk to, no-one. No-one. We have survived it all, yes, but I write to reach those ‘still there’. I care truly about you and your child, for you are humans being and this time near killed us, and I don’t want same to kill you. Life is possible, and it’s better than death [we can do death later]).