I found the video powerful, like a visual journal. All those images and emotions and things in your life dissolving into one another. I was moved by it, your love for your son really shines through and holds it together.
… cry … that’s what I did … where are you … who are you … you are beautiful … you are brave … blessed be … Love, cat. (http://catsruledogsdroole.blogspot.com/)
That is thought provoking indeed, Shakti. Wait for me…
I think in my instance (and you have genuinely caused me to reflect at this moment) I was begging that my son, through his years of me as his mother doing my utmost best with the mental disorders I experienced to extremes but which ebbed at times, without a support network, ALWAYS working, no other parents to confide in, no friends with children (but one acquaintance; the friend of a once-close acquaintance), my sisters 4000+ kilometres away never had children/couldn’t relate,
attempting to overcome all hell within singlehandedly – & then the hell without, being the father’s material & moral aggravations to our lives, wellbeing, potential to do more than merely survive,
- more, in fact: to live beyond what is to be expected from someone of my background & genes, & demonstrate to my son every day what is living & not being victim…
but which mental tortures ultimately drew me into a darkness numb & isolating (STILL working full-time!!) & not simply did I seek to die but attempted to, with genuine self-murderous intent thrice, & my son having to handle this abandonment by me (in a new town – why he did not become delinquent, is wow),
in my instance as this song speaks to me,
I begged my son wait for me to find the WILL to live because really, deeply, I did wish to be alive with him within the years of my existence, watch his successes of heart, mind, spirit and personal-independent (of his father & me) potential, thrive.
And indeed, as the most mind-blowing artistry can be wrought from the most hellish temperatures, I am begifted – and Daniel triple-so – that he has an innate wisdom, capability, personal strength, and most awesome constitution, that indeed as time passed and we both suffered (you cannot go through life unaffected by traumas), it seems time was bided, albeit painfully, and well we both are now, and blossoming more and more.
Time biding is sort of waiting, I think? I wanted my son to wait for me, and I think he did. And this day our lives are enormous promise, and so grounded, I stand as testament why murdering yourself is not the only option – fighting to live, to WANT to live first, then actually find life, is enormous reward. And having my son so well travelled through it all, is a blessed reward.
Sorry to crap on. As it turns out, you are my only comment I can get to, as now I need to sleep. It’s been an ENORMOUS weekend!
Thank you for your comment, for giving me reflection. I do know what you’re saying though – why do we wish someone to wait for us? I don’t know, I guess we matter to them if they slow their onward march, turn, reach their hand to you, and bring you with them.
The snippets of life get better and better. There´s a real, professional filmic quality coming through, despite the lack of time, money and equipment needed. You´re doing really well with what you´ve got. Great!
Bypassing the slimming tips with deferral rather than total denial this is a great post in terms of your artistic projection alone. That your real message pervades – acceptance, forgiveness, your sons’, your own?
How are you today? (I haven’t written in a little while. A little transitory right now..)
Hey, JJBollOX, & I haven’t written in a while either. “Transitory” – must be a story behind that?
I’m doing ok – & Daniel is My weekend was written off but, that be life! My workplace were very supportive my carer role of Daniel & this is heart warming.
How are YOU though, which I am sure I will discover upon a visit to your space out there in the world. You will NOT believe me, but true: I thought of you only recently & wondered where you were at. Funny, really funny, you then drop in…
Boys are boys … and they will fall and trip over. As a woman you will do the same when you came in my age – all the time *smile Glad he is doing fine! Always said that all sports are too dangerous. *smile – good excuse for not doing any or ????!!!!
Great little video again – never been a true fan of Elvis, but he had an amazing voice and that we can enjoy forever .
Oh Viveka, I cannot comprehend how you cannot be a fan of Elvis. I find that just incomprehensible. There is absolutely no doubt not all his songs are great; ditto his movies – but, wow… !
Glad you liked the video – & yes, I do know boys will be boys. Oh BOY, don’t I know it!
A truly awesome video that shows the deep and loving bond between mother and son, I am very pleased that Daniel is doing well after his accident, and as I have already mentioned earlier Martial Arts is one of those sports that can be a tad risky at times but still a very worthwhile use of his time.
By the way I love your make-up and hair in this video, but then you knew that I would should I see it and add my thoughts. You are a lovely young woman Noeleen and that rich sweetness shines through in every video that you have ever offered.
Have a very nice day and evening my great friend. It is easy to see the love between you both and that is wonderful xxxx
Yes, I can chill out (last night)… & I DID. First I had to return to the sports centre way across town though as we’d forgotten Daniel’s NEW (10 days old) sports shoes. No-one had nicked off with them. How decent. I appreciate that hugely.
The weight on both of you is palpable, Noeleen…and the way that we all try to find that “something” for that day, that keeps our spirits afloat, whether it be Elvis or a chook.
I really appreciate your video art & most of all, your honesty.
Bless you, & much thanks your sentiments. I am so glad you feel what I have to say for it means I’m not, like, “is it just ME, or…”
Elvis, Bowie, Billy Idol, and later years Eminem, yes, have kept my spirit alive. My sister Deana, I can never forget – she rose from her bed of depression to join me dancing to Bowie in our Housing Commission lounge room/house. She was jaunted and jolty/mentally fractured – but she was expressed. And I engaged her fully, & we had one of those spastic retard moments only family can have.
Thank you dearly, to appreciate my video efforts, let alone my heart on the vine.
No, it’s definitely not “just you”, though I do know how it feels that way sometimes…I happen to know nearly 99% how you feel (because, we are different people, after all- no matter how close the life circumstances?).
Tragedy strikes many of us via horribly dysfunctional & fragmented families, which leads to poor life choices, which leads to substance abuse, and then the “ever-after” exhausting attempts at self-motivation…Or sometimes worse, to know that you MUST get up because your child needs you.
And at the end of that exhausting day when you finally forced yourself up & forward (because of your child), you contemplate that without that sometimes crushing responsibility of your child, you mightn’t have bothered getting up at all.
The trick is to find a way to make “you” the one worth rising for, isn’t it?
Wow, that certainly is the trick, Tracy. I have only just recently realised the worthwhileness of the me having a life. Only recently – why, how ridiculously late in life!
I feel you’ve got quite some experience & a story to tell. I appreciate you being here, sharing with me.
*Curls Lip, speaks in the voice of The King*
I hope heals quickly and is back to doing what he likes doing.
(I was going to do this as an audio, but chose against it.)
AAAAAARGHHHHHHH! Perfect impersonation, Michael, in my well-read.
* THANK YOU * & missin’ the audio…
You know, in history I have only ever known Billy Idol, Elvis & Eminem to curl their lip “just so”.
Marianne Faithful so freakin’LOVEit-ly sang, “Her lipppps are still curdlllllling…” but yep, that’s all that’s struck the spot for me in the lip-curling, but now add you
Hi Noeleen,
Nothing like a heartfelt hug after waiting so long. Beautiful expression of what it must have felt like.
I hope Daniel is feeling better.
Love,
Amy
Indeed, Amy.
I look at my videos, mind, & think they could be misinterpreted as an “all-eggs-in-one-basket” kind of love. But you cannot imagine how wholly I accept that “If you love them, set them free” (etc). I want, truly want, Daniel to fully live. It may be only a skype call or a card that connects us but I’m happy, as long as he LIVES. I was never given the direction/permission to LIVE, & I give it to him with all my heart.
“Succes”/”failure”? I say, just try. For truly, how many DARE their DREAM? Like, HOW MANY? The judge of Daniel’s “success” is his own happiness, not me or society or aunties, or his other parent.
Daniel is feeling better – thank you. I am really touched you always say “Love” Amy.
Thank you heaps, Jordanclary. Truly, I appreciate to know “how it all comes off” because, you know, an artist feels before they think, & in afterthought, you think, “Did that get through??” !
I love Elvis. He died before I was born. I remember, years ago, driving through Panama City with a bunch of guys. One of them said that Elvis had not been all that remarkable.
We put him out of the car. Made him walk. True story.
I hope he heals quickly and well. I also hope you value this as a tool to help you stay the course, Noeleen. Much love and many more hugs to and for you both <3
I sense he will heal quickly, thank you, Red. I so much appreciate you “out there” caring.
And staying the course, I am; readily and increasingly easily.
Sigh, but life…
I found the video powerful, like a visual journal. All those images and emotions and things in your life dissolving into one another. I was moved by it, your love for your son really shines through and holds it together.
Thank you enormously, Domtakis, for saying what holds the video together; and for saying it moved you.
I am grateful what I created not only reached out, but touched.
Sincerely,
N’n.
(oh! credits to Elvis!!)
… cry … that’s what I did … where are you … who are you … you are beautiful … you are brave … blessed be … Love, cat. (http://catsruledogsdroole.blogspot.com/)
Cat, How did this lovely, lovely comment slip by without me thanking you. Sorry I am late to.
Thank you so much, Cat – I think you understood what I wanted to express. Sincere thanks.
(yes, and I cried…)
I had problems with the audio, this time, Noeleen. Sorry to miss Elvis.
Sorry you should miss Elvis too, Yaz! BUGGAR. It was an enormous song, speaking enormously my emotions.
Sending you love love love from Minnesota. xxxx
Thankyou, Inner Chick, & love love love back atya
Thank you so much for being here.
Wow ….
aFrankAngle, I love this comment. THANK you. Love it
I was feeling much, so much.
As I think of your comment, I ponder, ” What is it that makes us say ‘wait for me’ ?” Could this be a personal choice or societal conditioning?
Shakti
That is thought provoking indeed, Shakti. Wait for me…
I think in my instance (and you have genuinely caused me to reflect at this moment) I was begging that my son, through his years of me as his mother doing my utmost best with the mental disorders I experienced to extremes but which ebbed at times, without a support network, ALWAYS working, no other parents to confide in, no friends with children (but one acquaintance; the friend of a once-close acquaintance), my sisters 4000+ kilometres away never had children/couldn’t relate,
attempting to overcome all hell within singlehandedly – & then the hell without, being the father’s material & moral aggravations to our lives, wellbeing, potential to do more than merely survive,
- more, in fact: to live beyond what is to be expected from someone of my background & genes, & demonstrate to my son every day what is living & not being victim…
but which mental tortures ultimately drew me into a darkness numb & isolating (STILL working full-time!!) & not simply did I seek to die but attempted to, with genuine self-murderous intent thrice, & my son having to handle this abandonment by me (in a new town – why he did not become delinquent, is wow),
in my instance as this song speaks to me,
I begged my son wait for me to find the WILL to live because really, deeply, I did wish to be alive with him within the years of my existence, watch his successes of heart, mind, spirit and personal-independent (of his father & me) potential, thrive.
And indeed, as the most mind-blowing artistry can be wrought from the most hellish temperatures, I am begifted – and Daniel triple-so – that he has an innate wisdom, capability, personal strength, and most awesome constitution, that indeed as time passed and we both suffered (you cannot go through life unaffected by traumas), it seems time was bided, albeit painfully, and well we both are now, and blossoming more and more.
Time biding is sort of waiting, I think? I wanted my son to wait for me, and I think he did. And this day our lives are enormous promise, and so grounded, I stand as testament why murdering yourself is not the only option – fighting to live, to WANT to live first, then actually find life, is enormous reward. And having my son so well travelled through it all, is a blessed reward.
Sorry to crap on. As it turns out, you are my only comment I can get to, as now I need to sleep. It’s been an ENORMOUS weekend!
Thank you for your comment, for giving me reflection. I do know what you’re saying though – why do we wish someone to wait for us? I don’t know, I guess we matter to them if they slow their onward march, turn, reach their hand to you, and bring you with them.
Goodnight
N’n.
That… was moving. *hugs* and good wishes to you both.
http://hc21blog.files.wordpress.com/2013/01/644804animation1gif-gif-1.jpg?w=1000
Dear friend this is a test of image editing an image
I even try me to hug and kiss from Herluf.
Hi hun!
Just caught your comment!
A sauna then run out into the snow???
BRRRRRR!!! LoL!!!
I prefer to stay warm!
Second Comment!
Sounds like you are cooking slowly!
I do the same in warm weather, usually with a fan blowing a cooling breeze over me!
Love and hugs!
Prenin.
Yours is a beautiful soul, my friend.
Be well.
The snippets of life get better and better. There´s a real, professional filmic quality coming through, despite the lack of time, money and equipment needed. You´re doing really well with what you´ve got. Great!
Awesome comment, Bryan – thank you so much!
You are the very best at changing up your blog posts and this video is just another great example. Yeah!
Thank you so much! I just felt this way…
Different days, different colours.
Bypassing the slimming tips with deferral rather than total denial
this is a great post in terms of your artistic projection alone. That your real message pervades – acceptance, forgiveness, your sons’, your own?
How are you today? (I haven’t written in a little while. A little transitory right now..)
Hey, JJBollOX, & I haven’t written in a while either. “Transitory” – must be a story behind that?
I’m doing ok – & Daniel is
My weekend was written off but, that be life! My workplace were very supportive my carer role of Daniel & this is heart warming.
How are YOU though, which I am sure I will discover upon a visit to your space out there in the world. You will NOT believe me, but true: I thought of you only recently & wondered where you were at. Funny, really funny, you then drop in…
Boys are boys … and they will fall and trip over. As a woman you will do the same when you came in my age – all the time *smile Glad he is doing fine! Always said that all sports are too dangerous. *smile – good excuse for not doing any or ????!!!!
Great little video again – never been a true fan of Elvis, but he had an amazing voice and that we can enjoy forever .
Oh Viveka, I cannot comprehend how you cannot be a fan of Elvis. I find that just incomprehensible. There is absolutely no doubt not all his songs are great; ditto his movies – but, wow… !
Glad you liked the video – & yes, I do know boys will be boys. Oh BOY, don’t I know it!
Oh wow, that’s so beautiful. Indeed, how do you sum that up in a few words about your weekend? Forgiveness is a wonderful thing
Thank you, Alarna Rose! Thank you
A truly awesome video that shows the deep and loving bond between mother and son, I am very pleased that Daniel is doing well after his accident, and as I have already mentioned earlier Martial Arts is one of those sports that can be a tad risky at times but still a very worthwhile use of his time.
By the way I love your make-up and hair in this video, but then you knew that I would should I see it and add my thoughts. You are a lovely young woman Noeleen and that rich sweetness shines through in every video that you have ever offered.
Have a very nice day and evening my great friend. It is easy to see the love between you both and that is wonderful
xxxx
Thank you heaps, Lover365. You can see the bond? I never knew nuthin’, I knew nuthin’ when I got preggas and freaked out. Glad you can see, what is.
Oh sorry! It’s ‘POET’365…
Yes I can definitely see your loving bond
lol
Lover365 has a certain ring to it but alas it
is the latter
Have fun today Noeleen
xxxx
Doh! Already had ‘orgasmic fun’ today at the office.
Will have to reserve the ‘have fun’ for tomorrow,
at the office.
You can chill out this evening though,
xxxx
I keep forgetting the time zones, your
blog needs re-setting
Yes, I can chill out (last night)… & I DID. First I had to return to the sports centre way across town though as we’d forgotten Daniel’s NEW (10 days old) sports shoes. No-one had nicked off with them. How decent. I appreciate that hugely.
Thanks for coming by, Poet
The weight on both of you is palpable, Noeleen…and the way that we all try to find that “something” for that day, that keeps our spirits afloat, whether it be Elvis or a chook.
I really appreciate your video art & most of all, your honesty.
Tracy hi.
Bless you, & much thanks your sentiments. I am so glad you feel what I have to say for it means I’m not, like, “is it just ME, or…”
Elvis, Bowie, Billy Idol, and later years Eminem, yes, have kept my spirit alive. My sister Deana, I can never forget – she rose from her bed of depression to join me dancing to Bowie in our Housing Commission lounge room/house. She was jaunted and jolty/mentally fractured – but she was expressed. And I engaged her fully, & we had one of those spastic retard moments only family can have.
Thank you dearly, to appreciate my video efforts, let alone my heart on the vine.
No, it’s definitely not “just you”, though I do know how it feels that way sometimes…I happen to know nearly 99% how you feel (because, we are different people, after all- no matter how close the life circumstances?).
Tragedy strikes many of us via horribly dysfunctional & fragmented families, which leads to poor life choices, which leads to substance abuse, and then the “ever-after” exhausting attempts at self-motivation…Or sometimes worse, to know that you MUST get up because your child needs you.
And at the end of that exhausting day when you finally forced yourself up & forward (because of your child), you contemplate that without that sometimes crushing responsibility of your child, you mightn’t have bothered getting up at all.
The trick is to find a way to make “you” the one worth rising for, isn’t it?
I know.
Wow, that certainly is the trick, Tracy. I have only just recently realised the worthwhileness of the me having a life. Only recently – why, how ridiculously late in life!
I feel you’ve got quite some experience & a story to tell. I appreciate you being here, sharing with me.
N’n.
*Curls Lip, speaks in the voice of The King*
I hope heals quickly and is back to doing what he likes doing.
(I was going to do this as an audio, but chose against it.)
Oh, say that again! Say that again!
AAAAAARGHHHHHHH!
Perfect impersonation, Michael, in my well-read.
* THANK YOU * & missin’ the audio…
You know, in history I have only ever known Billy Idol, Elvis & Eminem to curl their lip “just so”.
Marianne Faithful so freakin’LOVEit-ly sang, “Her lipppps are still curdlllllling…” but yep, that’s all that’s struck the spot for me in the lip-curling, but now add you
Thank you!
Hi Noeleen,
Nothing like a heartfelt hug after waiting so long. Beautiful expression of what it must have felt like.
I hope Daniel is feeling better.
Love,
Amy
Indeed, Amy.
I look at my videos, mind, & think they could be misinterpreted as an “all-eggs-in-one-basket” kind of love. But you cannot imagine how wholly I accept that “If you love them, set them free” (etc). I want, truly want, Daniel to fully live. It may be only a skype call or a card that connects us but I’m happy, as long as he LIVES. I was never given the direction/permission to LIVE, & I give it to him with all my heart.
“Succes”/”failure”? I say, just try. For truly, how many DARE their DREAM? Like, HOW MANY? The judge of Daniel’s “success” is his own happiness, not me or society or aunties, or his other parent.
Daniel is feeling better – thank you. I am really touched you always say “Love” Amy.
Thank you.
Love the video hun – one hell of a choice of music though!
Glad Daniel’s going to be OK.
Hopefully he’ll be fit enough to compete again, but for now make sure he takes it easy!!!
Love and hugs to ya both as always!
Prenin.
Daniel is going to be just fine, thank you Prenin. After all, he be
Polish
Irish
Indonesian
Chinese
AUSSIE!!
I really like your short videos. It’s a great medium.
Thank you heaps, Jordanclary. Truly, I appreciate to know “how it all comes off” because, you know, an artist feels before they think, & in afterthought, you think, “Did that get through??” !
Truly: thank you
Great video, sorry about his fall, glad he’s now okay!
Aye, aye he is okay today, Seyisandra – THANK you.
But we all fall… don’t we?…
Yeah we do, the most important thing is to get back on our feet in one piece!
Thank you, your wisdom, Seyisandra; it provides me with mercy.
I hope he continues to heal well. And I cant imagine the joy of this for you Noeleen. Can’t imagine.
I think you have imagined, Colleen.
Thank you for coming by.
Would be tough to say.
I love Elvis. He died before I was born. I remember, years ago, driving through Panama City with a bunch of guys. One of them said that Elvis had not been all that remarkable.
We put him out of the car. Made him walk. True story.
True story?
YOU’RE A LEGEND, NATHAN!!!
& so FUNNY !
I hope he heals quickly and well. I also hope you value this as a tool to help you stay the course, Noeleen. Much love and many more hugs to and for you both <3
I sense he will heal quickly, thank you, Red. I so much appreciate you “out there” caring.
And staying the course, I am; readily and increasingly easily.
Sigh, but life…
Great video. Sorry he hurt himself.
Thank you for watching, Rebecca. Sorry yes… but glad it was an accident!