‘Evening Subbers, passers-by, bullies…All. By all means, ALL are welcome to view this.
I never know where a stroll through cyber space might take me, whose blogs I’ll read then linger upon, get involved in.
Tonight, it happens, I dropped by The Heretic’s world, and saw he’d reblogged from Rosewine Lover the original video created by Amanda Todd (r.i.p.) before her suicide. If you’ve missed that news headline, google her name. I can’t put it into words – well, not like Amanda (r.i.p.) herself did.
I was not prepared for my reaction. It ambushed me emotionally. I sobbed. Deeply.
I ended up on Andy’s page and commented a lot, very emotionally. I was feeling a LOT.
I then became interested to know more, and looked into the story of this beautiful, delicate soul. After about 45 minutes stirring pain, ache and sadness, I came upon a video which speaks the very issue – but which did not have the tragic focus that all the other videos had. It said a lot, and in vibe and vocal that I believe would even have bullies listening. Hence, this post welcomes all.
If you have been affected by the story of Amanda (r.i.p.) – and really who could not be?…oh! of course: and if you are a bully who is not affected by this, either/or, I recommend the below. It’s because I was gutted, then felt better after viewing this, that I recommend it (as through comments, I know countless others feel spiritually punctured by Amanda’s/r.i.p. story).
There’s a bit of advice in it, too, for young females seeking ‘likes’ and approval. I remember so clearly how so so often I would be walking down the street and a car full of guys would slow down and yell “SHOW US YER TITS!”. I always found it offensive because it was such a bold demand, and them rolling alongside you hinted expectation. The reason I never did – I don’t know, did they seriously expect me to? – was because, even at 13, 15, 16, I knew to do so was to allow in judgment (nice tits/not nice tits), measurement (seen better…) and demand for more.
Now there’s Facebook, camera phones, and no eye contact as a guy sits wherever at his computer, typing his demand, ‘Show us yer tits’, waiting for your reply, and you want to be liked… who doesn’t want to be liked…
Yet, what is this ‘like’d on Facebook?
I’ve never taken to FB. It tends to measure a life through its own widgety parameters. I just don’t ‘get it’.
I wish Amanda could have seen this video.
Rest in peace, Amanda: you are beautiful, by the way.
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I’m not into Facebook. This is really a shocker x
Oh. Why do people bully? What do they get out of it? I’m speechless. I don’t know what to say.
Speechless, yes, Renx: utterly. To see pain and hurt in people’s eyes, hurts ME – true. I feel so damned much. I just cannot imagine inflicting such pain, sitting back & feeling OK about it. I have no comprehension of this human behaviour.
I didn’t research this subject, and her suicide, as much as you did – I only read about it briefly – but her video is truly saddening and I wish such things would never happen in our society. May she rest calm.
Thanks for watching, fhhakansson, I do appreciate you coming by.
Yes, may she rest calm. Amanda (r.i.p.) has found the peace she sought, but there remains the bullies to be brought to conscience and brought to justice. The world now forces change, in her name.
Omg thank you for sharing this video. This guy is so right! And about Amanda, I’ve heard about her and watched her video a few months earlier and didn’t expect that her suicide would become that globally famous! But well, this should make people think more seriously about bullying… There are so many teens that are subjected to similar ill treatments… just horrible.
EvilNS, I’m really glad for your feedback. I’m glad you feel this guy is right – me too. This is (from memory) the first YoutTube video I’ve ever shared, & that’s because – yes! – he’s so right. And he’s so casual in saying it, just as-is, you know. I think his delivery, nature, & jive would speak to billions. I hope billions watched him!
So you saw her video months ago? Mercy me. I cried when I watched it, I truly cried. With suicide, I too a teen grew up hearing people half do it as a ‘cry for help’, so I never half did it – but I thought about it, thought about it, and (I think I’ve said in my writings) I crouched between parked cars for HOURS willing for the guts to jump out & be killed… for HOURS. But I actually thought for the driver!! I thought how awful that would be… was in two minds.
So that Amanda cried for help via the very medium that assaulted her delicate spirit, & then punctuated her LIFE by blunt cold departure – this, I think is what gets to people.
Glad you watched the video
I have commented on other blogs when the news first broke of this tragedy. Personally I was pained to the core to read through and watch, but watch I did. This is a collective failure of all involved, adults and children included. The cyber era we live in gives precious little refuge – where we once had sanctuary away from the reach of the bullies, we now have the ability to be taunted 24/7/365.
I found it rather disappointing that Youtube pulled the video, despite Amanda Todd’s mother thinking it could serve as a reminder to all about the tragic consequences of everyone’s behavior in this incident. Another case of covering it over and making believe it didn’t happen, or that all is well now. Awful, just awful.
Phil, I too was gutted at the Amanda (r.i.p.) video. I trembled with my tears, I did.
I do not like YouTube. Its original idea of sharing ‘You’ through the tube is just brilliant and world reaching, even down to the smallest village (with wifi!), but the soul of the corporation leaves me cold. I do not like it at all.
I am not a member of YouTube but to comment on this guy’s video (I hope you watched it – he speaks very really on it all, & with some advice) I had to put in my email address & suddenly there was a message ‘You are registered with Youtube!” I don’t know what that means, but I still was not able to comment on his video.
Thank you for coming by, Phil. YouTube are utter cowards.
The whole Amana Todd situation is sad but enlightening.
It is an awful story, the sad thing is this is probably happening a lot and we don’t hear about it. Amanda Todd has caught the attention of the world let’s hope it brings justice not just for her but all those who might still be suffering.
Thank you for commenting, J.D. Yes, an awful story and atrocious and more.
I get really sad over here in Australia when I get the odd news item flash that a gay teen has killed themselves following bullying, bullying, bullying. It’s extraordinary, isn’t it – expecting something to be just like you, to be okay.
For those who didn’t know who Amanda Todd was before this, I think it’s worth mentioning that not just the handful of people who were bullying her, but many, many others who didn’t even know her went to her pages on Facebook and on YouTube, and to many of the tribute pages as well, and left thousands of wonderful comments like, “Stupid b*&^%, I’m glad you’re dead,” “What took you so long,” “Good riddance,” etc.
If the world really ends in 2012, it will be no mystery to me why. I think we have it coming to us.
Wow, Anne (hi by the way!
) – that is strong comment, that we have it coming to us.
It is EXTRAordinary, EXTRAordinary complete strangers to her would log on, seek her out, write that, feel good. Totally beyond my comprehension.
I think cyber bullying – where you don’t even look into the eye of your target (hence you don’t ‘see’ them), and you just pour hate through the keyboard out into the world. It is truly THE most cowardly.
It is strong, but 33% of the world believes God thought we had it coming once already, so maybe no stronger than that. The deeds of the few outweigh the innocence of the many.
Not the first time something like this has happened, much evil lurking behind a computer screen.
Very true, Melouisef, lurking in the fingers, poised over the keyboards.
Thank you for coming by.
It was such a tragedy. Our young need safe spaces and people to turn to when the ignorant set out their judgement traps.
I know, Nelle, so true. Her parents seemed to do all they could – but it was the relentlessness of this man. CHARGES SHOULD HAVE BEEN LAID – EMPOWERMENT SHOULD HAVE OCCURRED.
She had said in her placards that she didn’t want to lay charges (about being bashed, left in a ditch until her father collected her in his loving arms) because she wanted to move on. In her naivety, she did not realise she was not going to be able to move on until charges were laid and justice brought.
Some of these blogs speak of justice and what has occurred in their lives. Here we are on this planet. If injustice occurs, I move and move and move for the individual to have the guts to make the move, to replace their victimisation with justice, square.
Internet is a curse too often – this with bullying on FB terrible – the guy on the video is so right. But those young girls they don’t know any better. Heard that Amanda committed suicide – but I thought she was raped … not showing her tits over FB ??? Or I’m totally wrong here. Bullying is not accepted anywhere .. and still it happens to so many people, young and old – it’s only us that can change it.
I get your question marks, Viveka, as in ‘not showing her tits over FB???’ – but yep, that was it.
The scenario goes, ‘show us yer tits’, she does show HIM: for his eyes only. But to him, it’s a score because he uploads images of girls 13-17 to a site dedicated to airing such pieces of flesh Then he wants more, she does not give what he demands. He emails her breast to family, school friends (knowing how to destroy a young child, that is), and all his seeming power, it goes on – WHICH IS WHY I AM SO AN ADVOCATE FOR ‘IF YOU ARE BEING BULLIED TAKE THE ACITON NECESSARY TO STOP IT’ – i.e., often court action.
She moved schools (thank mercy her parents were in tune), but he actually followed her wherever she went. Not just a paedophile, a destroyer of young lives, but also had the ability to hack cyberspace.
It was too enormous for her BECAUSE, I say, people in her every day were not wise enough to see what destruction was being attempted, of her – and worse, joined in. The tragedy is many faceted – of Amanda’s (r.i.p.) life now vanished – her opportunities for joy and accomplishment on this planet – and then, the heartless rejoin of others in her every day, suggesting a different brand of bleach would have done the job (on her first suicide attempt).
Suicide, you know from my story, is of great issue to me.
Thanks for coming by, for taking the time to see the video.
Feel sorry, for the human race … at times. Hope this will be lesson for other girls – at least she didn’t die in vain then. The news we got in Sweden was that she been raped at least what they said on TV. I know how close this issue is to your heart. Very upset the whole story. Thanks for bringing it out in the light.
Sad situation for sure.
Thank you for coming by, Phil.
To me this one is more than sad, it is devastating. Devastating. The extent, dedication and non-relenting attack & imagination of the bully gives it evil composure. And then, that others in her school/community pick up the evil lead rather than step up and say, ‘Hey Amanda, you can walk with me through school years. I can see what bullshit is happening – let’s walk together’ …. even worse.
Just learning there is a site where men get ticks & pluses for uploading naked & semi pictures of GIRLS and must be between 13-17 – coerced and pressured into their possession… What an aim, a target, to bring down so many girls with that bullet – or in this case, spray of bullets.
I appreciate your interest though. This video I posted, it is a lighter, insightful and moving alternative view about all at hand in this situ.
Wow…just watched the video and even though I had heard about her, I hadn’t taken the time to learn her story. I’m so sad that the internet is used as a weapon and that she felt unable to overcome the hate that was being spewed toward her. This is important, thanks for posting….and hope you are doing well…
Hello, Rescuing LittleL – how great to have you come by.
Well, the video Amanda (r.i.p.) herself made – the placards, no voice, that to me was heart wrenching and I did truly cry. I thought of her cutting up the placards – how many to make? half written her pain … makes more. Neat writing, clear for a teen. And that she was left in a ditch with not one to come by, outreach a hand, bring her out – not a one, but her father/family. Blessed father.
Yet, when I watched the other video, I really saw a message for the young ladies out there. I’d never heard the term ‘lady bags’…But the way this guy delivered his ’5 cents’, I think it speaks to the average person and to bullies, and to teen girls, all.
I am doing okay. I have just had a sh*t week – sigh, health got knocked down again…. unbalancing all other areas striving to stay above…. but ESSENTIALLY, I am doing very okay. Thank you.
I first heard about this from Andy’s blog and then I went searching for more info and saw her YouTube video, some newspaper articles, the slide show presentation she had made for others being bullied. I cried too. It was and is so unfair what she had to go through. I can’t understand how kids learn that to tell someone to kill themselves is okay at any level.
Kids,Cafe – how they learn to tell someone to kill themselves is OK? – by adults who throw the comment out there. And it strikes like a hammer on a depressed soul, I can tell you, when the will to end your own life is genuine, and determined.
When an estranged of my own family wrote that to me this year in not 1 but REPEATED, VOLUMINOUS months-long attacks, cyber – telling me she wished I’d not survived my GENUINE, DEDICATED suicide attempts 2011 (NOT a cry for help; an attempt to die … twice),
which had my own son discover me slipping into death’s waiting claws, waiting for Time to deliver my passed-out, self-sabotaged body into its vulture-patient open arms – & then my son saved my life ….. wishing me to hang myself/orphan Daniel in big, hateful letters that flashed up on my computer screen….
I can understand what it is to turn on the computer & not want to click your Inbox – that repetition, volume, ”you are a sociopath! a fraud!” & all sorts of mentally disturbing claims from an estranged, the decision to blog “about” me though we are stranger, to taunt me first that they will, to then set it up, to then trail my commenters & direct them to her site of fiction about me, but picking up facts of my life spoken openly through my novel & spinning them a cruel alternative ‘reality’ of me, as if she had intimate knowledge of Who I am…
and why? I still don’t know why, in truth…
I lost my will to write, to blog, connect with those I’d been connecting with feeling for and about…
from all that this year, I can imagine a PORTION of what she suffered, BUT AMANDA WAS FIFTEEN, A DELICATE, EMERGING WOMAN, INSECURE ABOUT CONFIDENCE, who she was, etc etc.
Indeed, how do kids learn that to tell someone to kill their Selves, is OK at any level?…
This video I posted by the Jamaican dude, though, it had me feel better, and after the reading all I did on Amanda, r.i.p. – like you obviously did too, well I wanted to share this video, wise, level, and I am SURE would reach the younger set, & give pause to bullies.
Rich are our lives, poor our souls, too oft is the case.
I appreciate your visit, Cafe.
Hey Noeleen,
I’m so sorry for everything you had to go through with this. It really is unfair, doesn’t matter what age you are. Thank you for sharing your stories always.
Janice xoxo
Oh Janice, you are so kindhearted.
Thank you for your care, your heart which reaches across the seas to me
My sincere best to you, too.
I used to woe, why me, but I take it all on the chin now thinking these are my lessons & challenges – what shall I make of them? – and such is life – and is that Karma’s ass? & I’m philosophical about it all. I sigh at the weight of life sometimes, but that is natural. Other times, I sigh in relief.
Hi hun!
Thanks for the visit and your comments!
First comment!
Yep: Sun after showers and the promise of a rainbow!
I set the alarm at 6am to keep me to a waking routine so I could go to get my blood test done, but it’s sloooowly slipping now and since I had the Cholesterol check I decided that there was no harm in a little Mexican Chilli cheese!!!
Second comment:
I’m glad you enjoy reading about my days. They are quiet at the moment thank goodness!
Yes the European Union is well on its way to becoming a Federation ruled from Berlin – The Irish got sucked in and now they are paying for it…
Grouse in England is an old word for having a good old fashioned grumble!
Hope you have a great weekend!
Love and hugs!
Prenin.
I was beaten and bullied at home and at school, so I know what this poor kid went through.
The only reason I am here today is because of a good friend and now this kid has gone and done what I tried to do and failed.
The people who did this to her deserve to pay, for they are as guilty as if they killed her themselves!!!
R.I P.Amanda.
Love and hugs!
Prenin.
So many people, like you Prenin, they will be able to relate, will know. Mercy, you had a good friend – that is mercy.
You know, I hate how people measure themselves against others. That is why I make fun of myself on my blog.
My 10 year old will be 11 this week. She had a sleepover party. They were talking about popular girls that were mean. I sat down (because I for some reason 5th grade girls think I am the coolest) and they started to talk with me. I asked them why they thought the girls were popular. They didn’t know. I suggested they look around at the group that was there. Each one of them were beautiful, strong, and smart. They were also the only people invited to the party. I said, “There are a lot of you here. The majority decide who is popular. You are a large majority. Don’t accept mean girls as popular…you all are popular.”
It got very silent. Then one of the pipped up. “WOAH! That really makes sense. We ARE the popular girls.”
My daughter came home from school Monday and said the dynamics changed at school. I was proud of them for taking it into their own hands.
x,
Becca
Becca, in a very understated way, YOU HAVE MADE CHANGE. This is great, just great to read, Becca. It is heartening. You made a difference to a lot of girls, truly so. GOOD ON YOU
It’s wonderful you are on the level that you can sit amongst these young ladies, discovering what it is to be Human, and to be Female and to be a Lady, and a Woman. If I had a daughter, she could go to your house any day! (if OK with you!!) Truly wonderful to read, Becca.
Awww thanks love. I love being a mom. I feel blessed and really want to be a good example to them. Both my daughter and son feel comfortable talking to me. I pray it stays like that. Send your one day daughter over here anytime.
x,
Becca
I couldn’t finish my coffee today Noeleen . Why are we as human such shits. I was bullied mercilessly my pupils and teachers and even when I was at work. I am all written out I wrote this comment on Paula Actons blog you can it here http://paulaacton.wordpress.com/2012/10/18/beating-the-bullies/ and then there is my old post about my
http://willowdot21.wordpress.com/2012/10/17/2966/ Sorry Noeleen Iam all talked out! Hugs to you both and thanks for the coffee. xxxxx
Talked out is fine, Willow – & to recognise that, even finer. I will visit those links. I want to read more of what you feel, and have been through. I didn’t realise you’d been through so much in that area, also.
Couldn’t finish your coffee… I would have hoped the Jamaican guy’s video, his words for all who turn their ears to him, may have picked you up – for it surely did myself, when I took this whole issue in, this loss, this tragedy, reading as I was last night (it’s now 10.28 am Sunday – thank mercy, a new day always dawns).
Yes I am usually grateful for a new dawn another chance xx
All I am going to say is someone is “raising” these little monsters.
Red.
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Wow, Red. Haven’t had a comment like that. Yep, true though. Enough said in that. Time to broaden our view on causes, as well as effects.
I had heard about this the day after she died. My comment was the same then. Where, precisely, were her now grief-stricken parents? Where were the parents (or should I say keepers) of the other children?
We are quick to judge the children for their immature behavior. Not particularly adult of us. We should be looking to those ultimately responsible for the children.
I am hesitant to pass judgement on the parents but your question was the first thing that came to my mind. My daughter has been beaten to a pulp, she has drank bleach, why was she not hospitalized or at the very least why was she alone long enough to make this video and kill herself. I know I wasn’t there and don’t have any right to judge but I can’t help but wonder.
I know in recent times I have felt suicidal and when I did make the attempt it was because I felt so totally and utterly alone.
I breaks my heart to think she felt like that; there is mo worse feeling.
No worse feeling indeed, Carrie. Isolation. You stand alone, and the world echoes around you.
With my situ of last year, I was not of the mind I am now. SOMEthing happened, I am SURE something broke in me – my endurance, my utter ability to take another step, my psyche : I know not what, and even the doctors don’t give me an answer. They in fact did not look at all into what happened that I should do something so severe in the face of circumstances, that it would end one life and damage another (Daniel). They didn’t look at that. They focused on getting me smiling & out of there. So I smiled, and I was out of there. Back to work.
That video, yes, would have taken a long time of aloneness to create – the placards, the setting up. And each and every one she brought to reveal to the camera, she surely swallowed tears. I saw an interview with a female Canadian student of her school and she commented, “This has been going on a long time”. Right, then. So it was just common knowledge, part of the day, nothing to be concerned about…or help by …
I just went over and watched the video. I hadn’t heard of her before. I just can’t believe it. I also can’t believe why she continued to use Facebook when they were posting such horrible stuff….maybe she was so young, and didn’t know better, didn’t know how to protect herself. I started using Facebook two months ago, and have already experienced some weirdos acting out. Being an adult, its easy to know what to do. The whole thing’s horrible.
It is devastating to me, Yaz, DEVASTATING. It wasn’t just FB using though – she KNEW her topless picture was out there and it can never be retrieved. The male tormentor (pedophile – she was 15) had her breasts as his Facebook profile pic.
So when I watched the video of Amanda herself, her final communication, & saw so much all else, I was relieved at this positive Jamacan guy, giving his take on things, with a bit of advice to the young girls, in with it.
Hopefully Amanda’s story will wake us all up. It is good that there are so many conversations going on, perhaps her death can mean healing for victims and bullies.
Noeleen, thankyou for sharing that. I was able to view it! He said it all didn’t he?
I have never ” gotten” Facebook either, I joined because my son was travelling and it was easier to keep in touch but I rarely go into it now; why? Because for the most part its fluff. I found blogging gave me a place to really relate, I’m not good at “fluff”.
My heart breaks for Amanda, her parents who are now condemned to a life of “what it’s” and “If only’s”.
I think every one who reaches adulthood can look back and be thankful that they are not defined by some of the stupid things they did in their past; I know I certainly had errors of judgement that slowly faded in people’s memories. We no longer have that luxury.
But no matter what a person does aside from murder or molesting children who has a right to tell them they should kill themselves.
I still hear JC’s voice and see the texts he sent taunting me to kill myself; that is the cruelest, most hateful thing a person can say to another person. Was there not one other kid out there who befriended her and said ,” Fuckem and reached out to her? When I got l pregnant in highschool I was gossiped about, shunned, etc but there were two girls who befriended me and stood by me through it all. Are kids so afraid to speak out for what is right and stand out from the crowd they would turn their back on a person and allow that kind of abuse? That is terrifying!!!
So sad! Your review of the video is accurate. So young, never to experience life’s rewards.
Noeleen, thankyou for sharing that. I was able to view it! He said it all didn’t he?
I have never ” gotten” Facebook either, I joined because my son was travelling and it was easier to keep in touch but I rarely go into it now; why? Because for the most part its fluff. I found blogging gave me a place to really relate, I’m not good are now condemned to a life of “If only’s”
and “what it’s
You were able to watch a video – that’s excellent, Carrie! Can you view them from now on, or was that just a once?
Yes, he said it all – and his natural flow, his ease, and views on life are positive. I think he could read people with what he said – teens particularly, and bullies, and so on.
I have never heard of the lady but will go over for a look when I get back from the airport.
Granny! How great you’re in touch. I will have to come by & see where you’ve been – oh, a holiday….
Well, it’s a huge story, Granny, of tragedy tragedy, tragedy. Yet this video speaks more to it all.
So when you get back check out the Heretic’s blog as he has a video there of the girl, Amanda. Understanding that, when you feel gutted, come back here for this video and to feel better in it.